Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Best Alternative To A Frustrating Moment

Today, I found myself starting to get really annoyed.  I had a situation where a repairman had made a mistake and marked up my wall.  My mother-in-law was mad because of the guys attitude and the repairman was defensive telling me how hard he was working and that he was sweating like a pig.  At that moment, I had a choice.

I could go for instant gratification and blast the guy for his attitude about the situation, though the damage did seem pretty minor.  Or I could speak in a calm, rational way about the situation and get it handled.  You know, kill him with kindness.  Besides, in thinking about the bigger picture, did I really want this guy continuing on the job potentially doing a bad job the rest of the way?

Though I had to come home from work for a short time, I went down the kindness route.  I came home, calmly spoke with the guy, offered him a bottle of water and though he still had some attitude, it didn't matter.  I acted that way for me, not for him.  I didn't want to relive the situation over and over again in my mind thinking to myself, "If only I'd said this...yeah, that would've been a good one."  As an aside, do we really accomplish anything by doing that?

In any event, the repairs were done and they look good.  He walked away all mad and looking frustrated while I am looking forward to a great rest of the day.  I definitely chose the better alternative. 

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's Great Being The Observer

"You two are so much alike, it's so funny."  Man that would bug me when my wife would compare one of my daughters to me when we'd argue.  I mean, what good is it to say that?  What possible reason would make her think that a comment like that could be helpful, I'd bravely say to her (in my head)? 

Well do you know something?  She's right...about my daughter and I and about it being funny.  I got to witness this first-hand as I separately spoke with my wife and other daughter earlier this evening as they were going at it.  But she's off just a little bit.  It's not funny.  It's hysterical!  Oh my God!  As I'm sure it's amazing to watch me and mini-me, it's even better when the shoe's on the other foot and I get to be the one observing.

It's also a great lesson to learn.  In times of frustration and anger, a helpful thing to try to accomplish - and it's not easy - is to remove yourself from the conversation while it's going on and observe.  Observe yourself and try to see what you look like, listen to the tone you use, notice your body language and hear the words that you are saying.

If others did this, the world would change dramatically.  If that's too much of a stretch, then we should focus on our little corner of the world and notice change happening right in front of our eyes.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Meditate and Feel Great

I have just completed a frustrating day and a trying week at work.  But here it is, Friday night, and I don't want to be in a bad mood and relive the events of the week over and over again in my mind thereby ruining my weekend.

So what should I do?

I have found in times like these, the ability to find a quiet corner of the house and sit quietly, meditating, does wonders for me and I encourage you to try it as well.  When I site quietly and in situations as stated above, focus on all that I do have and all the good things I've accomplished, it reshapes my thinking, my mood and my actions going forward.

I'll be writing more on meditating in coming blogs, but if you'd like to get ahead of the game, consider purchasing a copy of my book (shameless plug), C.O.R.E. - Creating Our Reality in which I devote an entire chapter by the same name as the title of this post. 

If interested, comment on this website and I can direct you on how to order a copy.  If not, thank you for reading the latest edition of my blog.

Whether You Think You Can...

Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company has been linked to a number of great quotes over the years.  My favorite by far though is the following:  "Whether You Think You Can or Think You Can't, You're Right".

Translation:  If you think you'll do poorly at something, you will.  If you think you'll kick-ass at something, then you will do it.  It's all in how you think.  Kind of ties in with the notion that what the mind believes, the body will achieve.  I understand that it sounds so simple...and it is...until we talk ourselves into thinking it can't be and then...it isn't. 

It's a vicious cycle that we sometimes get trapped in but I'm finding that the more I keep to the K.I.S.S. method, you know, Keep It Simple Stupid ( or some other last word you may choose to substitute for stupid), the more realistic and easier it is to accomplish.

Anybody else up for a little K.I.S.S. in their life?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Being True To Yourself

It's always easiest to go with the crowd.  It makes your life a simpler process to go along with the majority, to be a part of a large group and steer clear of any controversy, right?

I say the answer to that question is undoubtedly, "Yes".  The real question though, is why people choose to do that when inside their hearts and minds, they are feeling differently.  I still struggle with it sometimes.  There are times when I just don't want to be bothered and will keep quiet.  Later on though, I realize that was a mistake.  I mean let's face it, I'm not the smartest guy in the world but my thoughts, my opinions and my feelings should be treated with the same amount of respect even if it is in the minority.  Just because the majority says one thing and the minority says another, doesn't mean the minority is wrong, does it? 

I am trying to live my life without regrets (a VERY tough task) and part of not having regrets is being true to who I am.  Though we all go through bouts where our confidence gets shaken, don't we owe it to the person we aspire to become the chance to be heard?  To be seen?  To be recognized? 

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Plan of Action...Plan of Results

It's great to make an action plan.  "This is it!", you may say.  "This time I'm going to do it!", you remind yourself.  "OK, but how do I start?", may be the last comment before you blissfully go about your day.

We all have plans and things we'd like to accomplish.  Often times though, there is no road map laid out before us.  No steps to follow, just the end result played over and over again in our minds.  In a way, that's great, because there is a lot to be said for thinking from the end.  However, while we can all see ourselves sipping margaritas on the beach on some remote island without a care in the world, after we have that vision, we have to figure out how to get there.  That will be your plan of action.

Step-by-step, we have to plan.  But not just for action, for results!  It's a minor thing but sometimes, I believe, we get so caught up in taking steps just for the sake of taking steps.  There are no measurable results along the way.

Here is my suggestion:  Next to your "Plan of Action" in which you write out all the steps necessary to see your dreams become reality, make an "Actions Taken" column next to it to show what you've actually done.  In the right hand side of your page, list the "Results" your actions have yielded.

For example in your Plan Of Action column, your first plan is, "Create a Blog".  In your Actions Taken column, you may write out, "Reviewed Blogger & their How To Create a Blog" section.  Finally, in your results column, you may write out, "Successfully began my blogging career."  If you do not achieve your desired results, seek a plan B in your Actions Taken column until you find what works.

One of my old bosses was fond of saying, "A plan to plan is not a plan" and as confusing as it may first seem, it's really very accurate.  I would follow it up by saying that a plan is the first step, but there are others to follow, i.e. your actions and measurable results.

Try it out and see what you think.  If you have a system that works for you, please post a comment and share with others.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Greatest Discovery

"The greatest discovery you'll ever make, is the potential of your own mind."  That is a quote from parapsychologist and author of the Silva Method, Jose Silva, and I'd like to speak to you about what it means to me.

It tells me all I need to know about how I create what happens in my life.  It's the recognition of the power I possess, the power you possess and the untapped vastness to what we can do with our lives.  It is the knowledge and understanding of how I think now, in this moment.  My thoughts will become my reality...maybe not right away, but at some point.  I've come to realize that when I believe certain things between my ears, those things comes to fruition.

The trick is to believe.  Not just a random thought saying, "I'm going to win the lottery (ha-ha)", but a belief down to your core about who you are and what you'll do and accomplish.  It can work in a negative way as well as a positive, so we have to be careful to control what we focus on in our minds.  Have a random bad thought?  No worries, acknowledge it, and shift back to the positive.  The trick is to catch it before it catches you.

What can't you be?  You know the answer, now focus on what you want to accomplish and live the life of your dreams. 

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Making The Most of Little Moments

We all have moments in our life that when we relive it in our minds, makes us smile bringing us a strong sense of satisfaction.  I was fortunate to have one of those on Sunday & it's something that will stick with me for years to come.

I don't want to speak about the specific event though.  I want to highlight some of the "little" things that happened today that mean even more.  Today I've made my family, at separate times during the day, laugh.  I was shown kindness and showed kindness to others.  I realized and thanked God for the amazing life he has blessed me with and re-affirmed in my mind that I am going to make some wonderful and positive changes in my life.  These seemingly little things helped to make this a wonderful day even without my exciting accomplishment. 

It is definitely the little things that get overlooked, but if you'll allow yourself to slow down and realize all that you do, all that you have and all that you've accomplished, you too will be amazed.   

Ima-B, Ima-B, Ima, Ima, Ima-B

The title of the article comes from a Black Eyed Peas song and I love it.  For the beat, the music, the lyrics, all of it.  But also because it speaks from the end.  It speaks from the result when it hasn't happened yet.

What would happen if we began acting, as if?  As if all your dreams had come true.  As if you had that Mercedes Benz, as if you had that bigger house, more money in the bank, the kids college fund is overflowing and that dream vacation is paid for.  If you currently don't have those resources, the trick is to act "as if" you do. 

You'd feel better about yourself, wouldn't you?  You'd feel more empowered,  more successful, more confident, right?  You'd be on top of the world!

But what if those weren't your dreams?  Maybe you'd like more time to be a part of a charity, to straighten up your yard or maybe all you want is to feel better about you and who you are.  That's fantastic!  Whatever your dream, or ideal situation is in life, begin acting as if you have it all and before you know it, you will.

Make today your greatest day in the history of your life...until tomorrow.  You have that power inside of you!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Little Moments

I am the father of two wonderful teenage girls.  At this point in their life though, I am accused of being "too protective", have been told, "that's stupid" when relaying my thoughts and can be "embarrassing".  Me???

But I had one of those little moments this afternoon that just warmed my heart.  It is so simple, but one of my daughters and I are going to lunch together, just the two of us.  I am so excited!  My wife is out with her friend and my other daughter is with a friend at the lake, so the two of us will be enjoying some quality time together before the boys, the girls and other teenage activities come back into play.

Now, if I can only get her to stop texting.  Make it a great day!

Friday, September 17, 2010

From A Nice Guy

Was in the grocery store this morning, fueling up - Diet Mountain Dew.  Upon checkout, the cashier asked me if I'd like to donate to the Children's Miracle Network, so I said yes, she charged me an extra buck and then asked me if I wanted to fill in my name.  I'll rarely do that because I don't donate for personal recognition, I donate because I want to help others when I can.  Not judging those that do put their name, that's just my way.

She said, "OK, I'll just fill it out, 'From A Nice Guy'".  I thanked her and went about my day. I haven't stopped thinking about it since.  Sure, I've been complimented before but it got me to thinking, is there anything I can do today, that will make a difference for somebody else?  Just like paying it forward, I've taken to try to have a positive impact on somebody (multiple people) everyday but those four little words made a difference.

Just thought I'd share my little story with you - Make It A Great Day!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Having To Work For a Living

Realize that I write this to you having gotten up for work at 3:20am with a planned day that will not get me home until after 6:00pm.  I've come to a conclusion - this whole working thing - it's not a lot of fun.

I have taken recently to calling it just out-and-out "stupid".  Let's say you get up at 6:00am on a normal day and go to be at 11:00 that night.  You are awake for 17 hours of which you spend, conservatively, 8 hours working, maybe have an hour's commute total, spend an hour getting ready in the morning, alright, you do get an hour for lunch (but you're still there), have a work phone and/or computer at the house that has you putting in at least another hour in your own home.  Easily, we are talking 12 of our 17 hours awake time having work as our focus.  Dumb!

There has got to be a better way and I'm telling you now, that I am going to find it.  I'd love to explain to you what it is and have everybody reading this reap the benefits. I can't though, not yet anyway.  When I do find it - and I will - I will shout it out to the world because life is too short to spend it worrying...about our job, about having the necessary finances, about getting "ahead". 

After all, when a baby is born, you don't hear an announcement that we have a new "work" in the world.  But rather, we have a new "life".  Isn't it time we started living it?  Remember, there is nothing you can't be!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Boss Is Coming To Town...Now What?

When certain words are strung together, there are some phrases that can be utterly terrifying..."Get out of the water!", "We're going down", and what can be spine shivering to a guy, "I'm late".

None of them compare however, to the bone rattling phrase, "The boss is coming to town"...AAAAHHHHH!  It's a phrase that has knocked better people than me, right off of their game.  It's stressful.  You have to be at your best but suddenly, you can't speak in complete sentences, you sound like you have a bunch of marbles in your mouth and inexplicably, you lose all fashion sense, putting together outfits that would make a five year old hide his eyes in shame.

Why?  "Well, he/she could fire me", you may say.  True.  However this person is also the one who will be able to report back what a great job you're doing, why you're the right person for the promotion and why you deserve that raise that you've been meaning to ask for.

It's all about perspective and realizing that you have the ability to change not only the way you think, but the way you act, how you feel and how you look just by deciding that this is the way you now want to be.  I know I may oversimplify things sometimes, but I'd rather try to simplify than make things more difficult.

Any terrifying phrases you'd like to share?  Please comment below!

Make It A Great Day!

Today, above any other, is the day you can make great!  And I can write the same thing in a later blog and in the one after that and so on.  We get so caught up in throw-away lines and expressions that we can easily forget the power of not only a simple phrase like, "Make it a great day", but also in the power that you can bring to it. 

What exactly does, "make it a great day" mean to me?  I began using it as a sign-off to letters and e-mails I send to people.  When I use it, I do so in an attempt to offer up a reminder not that I "hope" you have a nice day but rather, you have the power to "make" it a great day...with your thoughts, with your attitude and with your actions.  It can also mean that you can make it a great day for others by going out of your way to do something to aide another person or simply by being the kind, warm-hearted soul that you truly are. 

There are many other empowering statements and expressions I've come across as I'm sure you have as well.  I hope you'll share them with me but in the meantime, "Make It A GREAT Day!"

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Change You By Changing Others

I am so encouraged by what seems to be a dramatic increase in philanthropy.  Sure, we read about the Bill & Melinda Gates' of the world and what they do is tremendous.  What I'm talking about though, is the uptick in everyday people getting involved.

I'd like to point out two charities in particular that perhaps you will consider getting involved in.  What can you do?  Donate - time, money, spreading the word - all good ways to help out.

Please take the time to visit:  www.KalenSweetMiracles.org and www.ANewDayForWomenandChildren.org.  There are really good people involved in these charities and hope you'll check them out and consider helping. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

Life Is Too Short To Be Small

The title of this post was inspired by a quote from Benjamin Disraeli, a 19th Century British Prime Minister.  What does it mean?  I translate it to mean that you should make your life as full of purpose as you can.

I am all about the belief that individually, we have the ability to be as "large" as we wish and all of us can and do, have a tremendous impact on others.  I am also of the belief however, that we can choose to be that tremendously impactful person in any manner that best suits us.  Whether you are a behind the scenes person or one who craves the spotlight, there is no one better way to be you and ideally, have a positive impact on others. 

Your thoughts?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Overwhelming Optimism

Optimism is an amazing gift!  A strong, powerful feeling that can change our lives in an instant.  It sounds so simple to get but I feel we sometimes get blinded by its opponent, pessimism.

How can we remain optimistic?  Focus on all the good that is in your life and minimize your thoughts on the negative.  Of course we'll still have thoughts of negative events and situations in our life but I've found it very helpful to acknowledge the negative thought and then, let it go and refocus on something that brings you joy, peace or happiness.

What helps you?

Selling Positive - There Are Signs All Around

With regard to local news, cable news channels and newspapers, I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer once say, "Stay informed, but don't be inundated."  Made a great deal of sense to me at the time because I found myself becoming a news junkie.  It was addictive, but it's also very demoralizing.

So I started on the path of staying informed but not tuning in at every top of the hour newscast in my car, not always looking for "Breaking News" and began looking into why nobody would dare inform us about anything good happening.  The number one response, by far, is that, "Good news doesn't sell".  What a depressing statement, but is it true?

I believe that not only does good news sell, but it sells very well.  Need examples?  Has anybody else started noticing the last few years how all of a sudden, there are more newspaper articles pointing to both local and national stories of good deeds and people going above and beyond?  Local television in Charlotte started doing a daily feature on good news now.  I believe it's CNN who also does a portion of their newscast centered on people making a difference.  Plus, have you checked a Barnes & Nobles or Borders bookstore lately?  There are not just shelves, but aisles dedicated to positive & motivational books. 

I know it is so easy to get brought down on what news is being reported, but if you'll look a little closer, you'll see change is happening.  Be a part of it!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remember Those Lost By Honoring Others

There are so many things I can write about on this 9th anniversary of 9/11 -- the Islamic Community Center (mosque) so close to where the towers fell, the on-going war against terror, Iraq or Afghanistan.  I can also talk about how our government continues to play politics when it involves so many important decision...makes me sick!

However, in my only blog post on this day, I'd like to ask you to think about the people.  Specifically the people whose lives were taken that day and the family and friends they've left behind.  I didn't have any personal relationships with any of them, yet, I still feel so sad and occasionally am still brought to tears when I think about it. 

It's difficult to write about, bringing back the memories from that day, but the one way we can truly honor those who were lost is to work on being better people, making the world a better place and holding those closest to you tightly.   

Honor those who were lost today by doing something positive for somebody else in their memory.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Pick It Up Guys- It's Really Not That Difficult

Mark this as my first pet peeve blog.  It involves, "guys", "dudes", "boys", "men" and all "studs" .  Before I get into it, though, a little perspective.

I love being a guy, hangin out with the fellas, burping, farting and not feeling bad about it (if I were Tim Taylor, I'd be grunting right now).  Plus, is there really a better excuse to adjust (ahem) yourself, than when you're wearing a cup on a ball field?  Ah, good times.

However my fellow brethren, the time has come to call a great many of you out.  I'm fed up and frustrated by this and I have to get it off my chest.  When you're taking a pee, will you please put the seat up?!!!?  I mean c'mon, it's really not that difficult.  And don't any of you try telling me that it's no big deal.  Really?  So you enjoy walking into a stall seeing some (or many) guys' pee on the seat? 

And how disheartening is it when you have other intentions when rushing to the throne?  Think about it, you walk in, spot an open stall, maybe get a little giddy about it and then, "NOOOOOOO!"  There it is all over the seat, a little on the side, a bit on the floor.  Nothing says, "I can wait" more, than lots of yellow on what was once a beautiful white seat. 

If we'd all band together and commit to each other right here and now, think of how much easier and less stressful our days could be.  What do say guys, will you pick it up?


Friday, by far, is my favorite day of the week.  It marks the end of the work week and mixes in a whole lot of optimism about the weekend.

For me, it also opens up my mind as to how things can be, both personally, as well as, on a local, national and global scale.  What is possible?  Getting to the gym this weekend?  Democrats and Republicans singing Cum-by-ya?  Peace in the Middle East?  For some, the last two questions will be impossible to say "yes" to and I understand how and why we can think that way.  All it takes is looking at the cover of a newspaper or reading a Fox News or CNN website to know that will never happen.

Well I've just hit on two words that I do not care for.  "Impossible" and "Never".  Words like these should be banished from the dictionary because they put limits on our capabilities as an individual, nation and planet.  Think of some of the things in history that were "impossible" and would "never" happen:  the invention of the airplane, landing on the moon, the N.Y. Mets winning the World Series in 1969 (the Miracle Mets) and dare I say it, the invention - not by Al Gore - of the internet!

When we expand our minds, we expand our possibilities and then we allow ourselves to experience some pretty amazing things. 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

What a Week...Life's Good!

What can't I be?  In thinking about the week, it's amazing what a change in attitude can do for your outlook.

Since last Friday after having spoken with a friend and former co-worker, my attitude went from frustrated with the way things were going to amazingly optimistic.  We had spoken for about an hour, having exchanged horror stories about our jobs and different things that were going on in our lives.  Nothing traumatic, thank God, just...life, as it sometimes happens.  He told me about a book he was enjoying, The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss and told me how I should look to pick it up.

Long story short, I did pick up the book, but just began reading it the other day (it's fantastic so far).  I also picked up KaChing by Joel Comm, read that in about 5 hours and a switch went off.  He is not a motivational speaker or positive-type guru, just a guy who has made it incredibly big with online businesses. 

My mind has since been going 100-mph with ideas, not just tied into the web, but ideas on how I can improve my life and the lives of others.  It's a really cool and an empowering feeling.  

What's the point?  The point is that if you can find that thing/things that inspire you, cling to it, hold onto it and feel confident in who you are and what you can accomplish.  All of this will help you understand, "What Can't I Be?"

Thanks for the conversation Matt!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Thank you for visiting my blog.  This is my first blog posting (ever) and I'd like to welcome you! :)

I'll be making post at least, once per day so please visit often.  My writing style is conversational - just you and I sitting back having a Coke or a cold, refreshing Coors Light and dishing our thoughts on life, how to improve upon it and reminding us all that there are no limits to what we can do!

Improving our lives, I hope, is a goal we all have but it's safe content to write about.  Rest assured though, my comments will also be about sports and business, while occassionally delving into controversial subjects as well - including politics and world events.

What can I say, I'm at a point in life where I'm comfortable saying I can make a difference.  So what better potential audience, than say, the whole world?

But this blog is not about me.  It's about all of us so I do welcome any and all comments you may have.  Agree?  Disagree?  Positive?  Negative?  Fantastic!  I encourage them all!

Lastly, if you like what you read, I only ask that you forward this address (http://www.whatcantibe.blogspot.com/) to your family, friends and co-workers.

Thanks for visiting.  Hope you'll come back again real soon!