"You two are so much alike, it's so funny." Man that would bug me when my wife would compare one of my daughters to me when we'd argue. I mean, what good is it to say that? What possible reason would make her think that a comment like that could be helpful, I'd bravely say to her (in my head)?
Well do you know something? She's right...about my daughter and I and about it being funny. I got to witness this first-hand as I separately spoke with my wife and other daughter earlier this evening as they were going at it. But she's off just a little bit. It's not funny. It's hysterical! Oh my God! As I'm sure it's amazing to watch me and mini-me, it's even better when the shoe's on the other foot and I get to be the one observing.
It's also a great lesson to learn. In times of frustration and anger, a helpful thing to try to accomplish - and it's not easy - is to remove yourself from the conversation while it's going on and observe. Observe yourself and try to see what you look like, listen to the tone you use, notice your body language and hear the words that you are saying.
If others did this, the world would change dramatically. If that's too much of a stretch, then we should focus on our little corner of the world and notice change happening right in front of our eyes.