Today, I found myself starting to get really annoyed. I had a situation where a repairman had made a mistake and marked up my wall. My mother-in-law was mad because of the guys attitude and the repairman was defensive telling me how hard he was working and that he was sweating like a pig. At that moment, I had a choice.
I could go for instant gratification and blast the guy for his attitude about the situation, though the damage did seem pretty minor. Or I could speak in a calm, rational way about the situation and get it handled. You know, kill him with kindness. Besides, in thinking about the bigger picture, did I really want this guy continuing on the job potentially doing a bad job the rest of the way?
Though I had to come home from work for a short time, I went down the kindness route. I came home, calmly spoke with the guy, offered him a bottle of water and though he still had some attitude, it didn't matter. I acted that way for me, not for him. I didn't want to relive the situation over and over again in my mind thinking to myself, "If only I'd said this...yeah, that would've been a good one." As an aside, do we really accomplish anything by doing that?
In any event, the repairs were done and they look good. He walked away all mad and looking frustrated while I am looking forward to a great rest of the day. I definitely chose the better alternative.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
It's Great Being The Observer
"You two are so much alike, it's so funny." Man that would bug me when my wife would compare one of my daughters to me when we'd argue. I mean, what good is it to say that? What possible reason would make her think that a comment like that could be helpful, I'd bravely say to her (in my head)?
Well do you know something? She's right...about my daughter and I and about it being funny. I got to witness this first-hand as I separately spoke with my wife and other daughter earlier this evening as they were going at it. But she's off just a little bit. It's not funny. It's hysterical! Oh my God! As I'm sure it's amazing to watch me and mini-me, it's even better when the shoe's on the other foot and I get to be the one observing.
It's also a great lesson to learn. In times of frustration and anger, a helpful thing to try to accomplish - and it's not easy - is to remove yourself from the conversation while it's going on and observe. Observe yourself and try to see what you look like, listen to the tone you use, notice your body language and hear the words that you are saying.
If others did this, the world would change dramatically. If that's too much of a stretch, then we should focus on our little corner of the world and notice change happening right in front of our eyes.
Well do you know something? She's right...about my daughter and I and about it being funny. I got to witness this first-hand as I separately spoke with my wife and other daughter earlier this evening as they were going at it. But she's off just a little bit. It's not funny. It's hysterical! Oh my God! As I'm sure it's amazing to watch me and mini-me, it's even better when the shoe's on the other foot and I get to be the one observing.
It's also a great lesson to learn. In times of frustration and anger, a helpful thing to try to accomplish - and it's not easy - is to remove yourself from the conversation while it's going on and observe. Observe yourself and try to see what you look like, listen to the tone you use, notice your body language and hear the words that you are saying.
If others did this, the world would change dramatically. If that's too much of a stretch, then we should focus on our little corner of the world and notice change happening right in front of our eyes.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Meditate and Feel Great
I have just completed a frustrating day and a trying week at work. But here it is, Friday night, and I don't want to be in a bad mood and relive the events of the week over and over again in my mind thereby ruining my weekend.
So what should I do?
I have found in times like these, the ability to find a quiet corner of the house and sit quietly, meditating, does wonders for me and I encourage you to try it as well. When I site quietly and in situations as stated above, focus on all that I do have and all the good things I've accomplished, it reshapes my thinking, my mood and my actions going forward.
I'll be writing more on meditating in coming blogs, but if you'd like to get ahead of the game, consider purchasing a copy of my book (shameless plug), C.O.R.E. - Creating Our Reality in which I devote an entire chapter by the same name as the title of this post.
If interested, comment on this website and I can direct you on how to order a copy. If not, thank you for reading the latest edition of my blog.
So what should I do?
I have found in times like these, the ability to find a quiet corner of the house and sit quietly, meditating, does wonders for me and I encourage you to try it as well. When I site quietly and in situations as stated above, focus on all that I do have and all the good things I've accomplished, it reshapes my thinking, my mood and my actions going forward.
I'll be writing more on meditating in coming blogs, but if you'd like to get ahead of the game, consider purchasing a copy of my book (shameless plug), C.O.R.E. - Creating Our Reality in which I devote an entire chapter by the same name as the title of this post.
If interested, comment on this website and I can direct you on how to order a copy. If not, thank you for reading the latest edition of my blog.
Whether You Think You Can...
Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company has been linked to a number of great quotes over the years. My favorite by far though is the following: "Whether You Think You Can or Think You Can't, You're Right".
Translation: If you think you'll do poorly at something, you will. If you think you'll kick-ass at something, then you will do it. It's all in how you think. Kind of ties in with the notion that what the mind believes, the body will achieve. I understand that it sounds so simple...and it is...until we talk ourselves into thinking it can't be and then...it isn't.
It's a vicious cycle that we sometimes get trapped in but I'm finding that the more I keep to the K.I.S.S. method, you know, Keep It Simple Stupid ( or some other last word you may choose to substitute for stupid), the more realistic and easier it is to accomplish.
Anybody else up for a little K.I.S.S. in their life?
Translation: If you think you'll do poorly at something, you will. If you think you'll kick-ass at something, then you will do it. It's all in how you think. Kind of ties in with the notion that what the mind believes, the body will achieve. I understand that it sounds so simple...and it is...until we talk ourselves into thinking it can't be and then...it isn't.
It's a vicious cycle that we sometimes get trapped in but I'm finding that the more I keep to the K.I.S.S. method, you know, Keep It Simple Stupid ( or some other last word you may choose to substitute for stupid), the more realistic and easier it is to accomplish.
Anybody else up for a little K.I.S.S. in their life?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Being True To Yourself
It's always easiest to go with the crowd. It makes your life a simpler process to go along with the majority, to be a part of a large group and steer clear of any controversy, right?
I say the answer to that question is undoubtedly, "Yes". The real question though, is why people choose to do that when inside their hearts and minds, they are feeling differently. I still struggle with it sometimes. There are times when I just don't want to be bothered and will keep quiet. Later on though, I realize that was a mistake. I mean let's face it, I'm not the smartest guy in the world but my thoughts, my opinions and my feelings should be treated with the same amount of respect even if it is in the minority. Just because the majority says one thing and the minority says another, doesn't mean the minority is wrong, does it?
I am trying to live my life without regrets (a VERY tough task) and part of not having regrets is being true to who I am. Though we all go through bouts where our confidence gets shaken, don't we owe it to the person we aspire to become the chance to be heard? To be seen? To be recognized?
I say the answer to that question is undoubtedly, "Yes". The real question though, is why people choose to do that when inside their hearts and minds, they are feeling differently. I still struggle with it sometimes. There are times when I just don't want to be bothered and will keep quiet. Later on though, I realize that was a mistake. I mean let's face it, I'm not the smartest guy in the world but my thoughts, my opinions and my feelings should be treated with the same amount of respect even if it is in the minority. Just because the majority says one thing and the minority says another, doesn't mean the minority is wrong, does it?
I am trying to live my life without regrets (a VERY tough task) and part of not having regrets is being true to who I am. Though we all go through bouts where our confidence gets shaken, don't we owe it to the person we aspire to become the chance to be heard? To be seen? To be recognized?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Plan of Action...Plan of Results
It's great to make an action plan. "This is it!", you may say. "This time I'm going to do it!", you remind yourself. "OK, but how do I start?", may be the last comment before you blissfully go about your day.
We all have plans and things we'd like to accomplish. Often times though, there is no road map laid out before us. No steps to follow, just the end result played over and over again in our minds. In a way, that's great, because there is a lot to be said for thinking from the end. However, while we can all see ourselves sipping margaritas on the beach on some remote island without a care in the world, after we have that vision, we have to figure out how to get there. That will be your plan of action.
Step-by-step, we have to plan. But not just for action, for results! It's a minor thing but sometimes, I believe, we get so caught up in taking steps just for the sake of taking steps. There are no measurable results along the way.
Here is my suggestion: Next to your "Plan of Action" in which you write out all the steps necessary to see your dreams become reality, make an "Actions Taken" column next to it to show what you've actually done. In the right hand side of your page, list the "Results" your actions have yielded.
For example in your Plan Of Action column, your first plan is, "Create a Blog". In your Actions Taken column, you may write out, "Reviewed Blogger & their How To Create a Blog" section. Finally, in your results column, you may write out, "Successfully began my blogging career." If you do not achieve your desired results, seek a plan B in your Actions Taken column until you find what works.
One of my old bosses was fond of saying, "A plan to plan is not a plan" and as confusing as it may first seem, it's really very accurate. I would follow it up by saying that a plan is the first step, but there are others to follow, i.e. your actions and measurable results.
Try it out and see what you think. If you have a system that works for you, please post a comment and share with others.
We all have plans and things we'd like to accomplish. Often times though, there is no road map laid out before us. No steps to follow, just the end result played over and over again in our minds. In a way, that's great, because there is a lot to be said for thinking from the end. However, while we can all see ourselves sipping margaritas on the beach on some remote island without a care in the world, after we have that vision, we have to figure out how to get there. That will be your plan of action.
Step-by-step, we have to plan. But not just for action, for results! It's a minor thing but sometimes, I believe, we get so caught up in taking steps just for the sake of taking steps. There are no measurable results along the way.
Here is my suggestion: Next to your "Plan of Action" in which you write out all the steps necessary to see your dreams become reality, make an "Actions Taken" column next to it to show what you've actually done. In the right hand side of your page, list the "Results" your actions have yielded.
For example in your Plan Of Action column, your first plan is, "Create a Blog". In your Actions Taken column, you may write out, "Reviewed Blogger & their How To Create a Blog" section. Finally, in your results column, you may write out, "Successfully began my blogging career." If you do not achieve your desired results, seek a plan B in your Actions Taken column until you find what works.
One of my old bosses was fond of saying, "A plan to plan is not a plan" and as confusing as it may first seem, it's really very accurate. I would follow it up by saying that a plan is the first step, but there are others to follow, i.e. your actions and measurable results.
Try it out and see what you think. If you have a system that works for you, please post a comment and share with others.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The Greatest Discovery
"The greatest discovery you'll ever make, is the potential of your own mind." That is a quote from parapsychologist and author of the Silva Method, Jose Silva, and I'd like to speak to you about what it means to me.
It tells me all I need to know about how I create what happens in my life. It's the recognition of the power I possess, the power you possess and the untapped vastness to what we can do with our lives. It is the knowledge and understanding of how I think now, in this moment. My thoughts will become my reality...maybe not right away, but at some point. I've come to realize that when I believe certain things between my ears, those things comes to fruition.
The trick is to believe. Not just a random thought saying, "I'm going to win the lottery (ha-ha)", but a belief down to your core about who you are and what you'll do and accomplish. It can work in a negative way as well as a positive, so we have to be careful to control what we focus on in our minds. Have a random bad thought? No worries, acknowledge it, and shift back to the positive. The trick is to catch it before it catches you.
What can't you be? You know the answer, now focus on what you want to accomplish and live the life of your dreams.
It tells me all I need to know about how I create what happens in my life. It's the recognition of the power I possess, the power you possess and the untapped vastness to what we can do with our lives. It is the knowledge and understanding of how I think now, in this moment. My thoughts will become my reality...maybe not right away, but at some point. I've come to realize that when I believe certain things between my ears, those things comes to fruition.
The trick is to believe. Not just a random thought saying, "I'm going to win the lottery (ha-ha)", but a belief down to your core about who you are and what you'll do and accomplish. It can work in a negative way as well as a positive, so we have to be careful to control what we focus on in our minds. Have a random bad thought? No worries, acknowledge it, and shift back to the positive. The trick is to catch it before it catches you.
What can't you be? You know the answer, now focus on what you want to accomplish and live the life of your dreams.
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